Business Training Seminars

Believe it or not, at one time I Donnie Bolena was a teenager, and I was also a college student. One of the hardest things that I had to deal with when I was younger was telling my friends and family “NO”. Well, the truth is that by learning to say no, although you might feel that others will feel hurt or offended. (and it is possible),

You are also sending a strong message that you value your time, that you have priorities, and that you also respect the person or people to whom you are saying no. We don’t want to commit to something we don’t want to do. In this talk to companys, churches and young people, I do my best to teach and explain that it’s OK to say no if you’re feeling pressured, and give you helpful hints on dealing with pressure and saying no.

All great leaders must know when and how to say “no.”

As a business leader, it’s your job to protect the focus of your organization. As a husband and a father it’s your job to protect your home. You have to ensure that your limited resources are put to bear in the most effective way. 

That often means refusing requests from family, customers, suppliers, employees and even from your boss.

Regardless of the reason, sometimes we must “just say no.”

1.  It’s always best to understand the request (and that the other party feels you understand them). Pay great attention to the full request without interrupting, and then ask questions to clarify.  Seek to understand not just the specific request, but the underlying need the request is designed to satisfy. Try not to make an emotional desision, use your reasons and your logic and stick with your decision. This is leadership.

2. If the request must be refused, say “no” clearly and immediately.  Don’t delay the “no” if you know it must be made.  And don’t confuse the “no” with a meaningless mass of words.  Just say “no.”

3. Explain why you are refusing the request.  Always tell the truth, never deviate away from your principals!  As a business leader, do your best to have a clear business reason for your refusal, as a parent you dont need a reason.

4. Great leaders will look to see if there is a way to develop alternatives that will meet the need of their client or their family that everyone will be able to approve.  Always try to offer some alternative.

The entire conversation needs to be on respectful and on good terms.  Don’t let it a business “no” get personal, and stay firm.  Family issues will get personal real fast.. Be careful here and stick to your guns.

Note: Remember you have a reason for saying no, when placed in a manipulative situation, resort beck to your original reason for saying “no”.

Always Look the other party in the eye and calmly state your response.  Own the “no”, don’t blame someone else for the refusal, and don’t apologize.

Sometimes you may have to repeat your “no” several times before the other party clearly hears it.  It’s okay to sound like a broken record here – that’s often what it takes to break through.

Turning down a friendly request can take nerve, but it’s often necessary. When you can’t or don’t want to help out, get yourself together and kindly but firmly turn them down. But if you’re not ready, you’re simply not ready.

Phrase your “no” as simply as possible. Don’t raise your voice or become upset, simply say that you cannot help this time. When you say no, say it in a confident, well modulated voice to sound more straightforward.

Note:  Do not interrupt the speaker

Don’t feel obligated to explain. You have your reasons and they may not be ones you wish to discuss. If this is the case, try saying something like, “I’m just not able to.” Leave it at that – if you must, change the subject, or say, “I’m sorry, but I need to go.”

If you want to explain then explain simply, and only if you wish to do so. If the case really is one that you feel okay explaining, make your explanation as simple as possible.

Be confident and stand firm. If the person or people you are dealing with does not want to accept your answer, tell him or her or them, that your mind is made up and that you will not change it.

 

Always remember two very important things about you and your life in leadership;

1. Sometimes it is lonely at the top, you did not get placed in a position of authority because your superiors think you can not make an informed decision, with out having to pick up the phone and call someone else to give you instruction on what to say.

2. Leaders prove great leadership skills with their good decision making responsibilities, this is why you are who you are and the people who is asking you for permission are who they are. You are where you are at because you do have the ability and the guts to say ”no”.

All my best , Donnie Bolena

This entry was posted on Monday, August 23rd, 2010 at 11:21 am and is filed under Business Grammar and Writing, Change and Organizational Development, Communication, Conflict Management, Customer Service, Diversity, Finance, Law, Mediation and Negotiations, Leadership, Management and Supervision, Motivation and Inspiration, Motivational, Project Management, Real Estate, Sales, Branding, Marketing, Sexual Harassment, Stress-Management, Team-Building, Technology, Time Management, Wellness . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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