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Gary Lim, M.A. is a best-selling author, entrepreneur, executive coach, consultant, and seminar leader. He created ActionPronto.com, and is president of Aurarius LLC, the strategic and management consulting firm. Sharing his unique blend of experience, Gary has worked with thousands of attendees from organizations ranging from Fortune 500 corporations and mid-market firms to not-for-profits and educational institutions.
Invariably in any organization, working in teams or just working with associates, misunderstandings will arise. If you find that you are the cause of a misunderstanding, is it better to let it go and not say anything about it for fear of stirring it up again? Or is it better to acknowledge that you made a mistake, and discuss it at length?
The answer lies somewhere in the middle, depending on the circumstances. In any case, I never recommend acting like it never happened, and hoping that no one will remember who caused the mix-up. Maybe no one will, but if someone does, all they will remember about you is that you screwed things up once and tried to cover it up. And they might just tell others what they remember.
So once you’ve realized that you created an issue for someone else, the best thing to do is to follow 3 general steps.
First, acknowledge it. Keep it simple, as in “I realized after the fact that I shouldn’t have expressed myself the way that I did in the meeting.”
Second, continue with a professional apology. As in “I regret doing so, I apologize for this, and hope that I haven’t created any undue harm that can’t be mended.”
Third, the remedy. Ask the person or persons if there is anything that they would like you to do to help rectify the situation, then do it (assuming it’s a reasonable request).
When that discussion is complete, you move on. Don’t repeatedly apologize or try to get them to say everything’s okay. Just move on professionally from the issue. If the other party brings up the issue again at a later time, you can address it with a question like, “I can understand your feelings, however, when we last discussed this, I asked you what I needed to do to rectify it. Has that changed since our last talk?”
Sometimes you make mistakes. It happens. Apologize quickly and professionally, and then move on, so time can help the healing.
Tags: conflict, Gary Lim, organization, resolution, teamwork