MVP Seminars - Annie Barron, PhD's Blog

Getting to the "Aaaahh" of Communication

When you are willing to go through the "ouch,"
you can get to the "a-ha!"
and finally, the "aaahh."

Communication can be painful, especially the communication we have with ourselves. Often, we distract ourselves from the pain by criticizing, blaming or simply ignoring what's triggering us. That means it stays with us and we stay in pain.

In my upcoming book, I'll explain how to quickly move through the pain to get to the "a-ha!", the insight that's behind the pain. When we do that, relief takes the place of the pain and we become free of the trigger.

July 17, 2008 Posted by Annie Barron, PhD | self-help, self-empowered, self-discovery, communication | Comment (0)

Do You Really Need More Accountability?

When managers want to accomplish goals through their employees, they usually think in terms of accountability. It’s common to hear questions like “Who’s accountable for that project?” “Whose idea was that?” and “Whose fault is it?”

How do the answers to these questions accomplish goals? I don’t think they do. In my experience, questions that focus on accountability lead to discussions about blame, which often divide work groups into gossip camps and passive aggressive reactions. That wastes a lot of time.

A different approach is to focus on self-responsibility. Instead of the above questions, an employee with self-responsibility might say, “How can I help?” “I like / don’t like that idea because ______ and here’s what I suggest _____.” “How did our process (not a person) cause that problem?&r

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July 7, 2008 Posted by Annie Barron, PhD | self-empowered, self-discovery, professional development, personal growth, motivation, meaning, leadership, effective management, control, communication, business success | Comment (0)

How to Stop Giving Your Power Away

In my last post, I described how life reflects back to us what we believe about our worthiness and “enoughness” and I said that watching for patterns is a great way to recognize these reflections. I recently identified a pattern in my own life and connected it to a painful belief that held me hostage for most of my 38 years ~ not any more!

About a month ago, I moved into an idyllic 1930s cottage right along the river and Missoula’s beautiful river’s edge bike path. I was so happy to be in a house again, especially one with so much charm. What could be wrong with that? Plenty!

The floors creak more than you might imagine, and there is a renter in the basement. During my first few weeks in the house, I felt terrible about walking around in the morning, knowing that my neighbor might be woken up by my movements. While I was doing everything I could think of not to disturb her, she slammed her door every time she went in or out and she blasted

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July 2, 2008 Posted by Annie Barron, PhD | success, self-empowered, self-discovery, relationships, personal growth, personal development, life coaching, happiness, energy, communication, business coaching | Comment (0)

Communication ~ How life is a mirror

If you're like me, you carry on a conversation with yourself all day long. It usually goes something like this, "Wow, that was a great point he just made. I wish I were as sharp as he is," or, "She looks so confident! I wish I were that confident."

Most of our self-talk is a reinforcement of a belief that we are not enough. For you, this may show up as not having enough, not knowing enough, not being acknowledged enough. It's important for us to recognize what we're saying about ourselves because our core beliefs will be reflected back to us.

People and circumstances will either confirm or contradict what we believe about ourselves.

Let's take that last point a little further. I coach a manager who is responsible for two very different departments. The staff in one of her departments frequently complains about her, saying she is not available to them, that she does not follow up on thei

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June 9, 2008 Posted by Annie Barron, PhD | effective management, communication, coaching | Comment (0)