As humans, we are social beings.  For most of us, one of the cruelest punishments is total isolation.  We need other people to listen to our stories, to share their own, and to mirror and respond to our thoughts and feelings and behaviors.  But since we really do need other people, why do so many of us, so much of the time, have the biggest conflicts and the most harrowing  difficulties with those people we need the most?

Part of the problem is that we need people, yet we may believe that we should not need anyone.  The dream of Marlborough Man, the independent, cool, tough guy, still exists for men and women alike.  So, we get into relationships with people we need and then we make every effort to prove to them how much we don't need them.  And this happens at work, at home, and in any situation where we spend time and share activities with other people.

We are all social beings - and - we

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People join a group for many different reasons.  Motivation, excitement, appropriate skill level, cooperative attitude, and desire to participate, may be lacking.  Some people join a group to "look good," to add it to their resume, because someone coerced them and they just could not say no, or because they're curious but don't intend to contribute much.  Others join a group with the intention of being a star, the boss, leading others to their own self-serving goals, or just controlling others to boost their own morale.  Some people join a group because they want to receive what that group has to offer - education, advice, money, prestige, or a sense of belonging.  Then there are the rare few who join a group to discover what they can contribute, how they can help the group to improve and expand.

Not only do people join groups for diverse and completely different reasons, they also arrive with completely different personalit

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The other day I was asked to help out in a kindergarten class because their teacher had called in sick. While I am used to being at the front of the room leading seminars and trainings, I took immense pleasure in sitting in the back while watching the teacher's aid take the lead and instruct the class. It was such a joy to watch him engage with these children, entertain them, and truly listen and lead. Suddenly, it dawned on me that today's leaders, administrators, and managers could gain some pretty valuable knowledge from this T.A.  With all that said, all I know about leadership I learned in a kindergarten class.

Here are the 10 leadership principles that the T. A. embodied and taught me:

1. L-Learn. A leader never stops learning and that includes from his/her own employees and subordinates. While a leader teaches, the best teachers know they are forever students. In today's day and age, something has happened where we are programmed to always

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This blog is to help share the latest tools in improving communication skills, eliminating confusion in business and personal relationships and empowering people to live their dream with passion

The days are long and the Sun is going down, as an employee who shall remain nameless, driving a Rough Terrain Fork Lift, in rough terrain. Returning to the yard for the evening, at to high rate of speed, the folks bouncing, and as the road dipped, the forks caught in the ground. At about 13 MPH the machine comes to a sudden stop as one of the folks is bent at 30 degrees below horizontal and the right side fork rolls up in circle.  Some good comes of this in that as the safety lap belt is in place and on, the operators is saved from more than embarrassment.

As he called me on the raido I heard him say to some one in the background" I know better than that" " How could I be so stuipd?" Any time we take our mind off  Right Now we establish a zone of accident.

In the root cause investigation the employee stated, that he was tired beone belief, and was just thinking about getting home, to the hotel. The rough ter

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                        Every Team Building Group is Perfect

     We are brought up learning that nobody is perfect.  Fine.  I can handle that.  As a Success Coach who specializes in Team Building and Leadership Training, I am not perfect.  I am far from it.  "Perfect" is a nasty word.  It encourages us to beat up on ourselves when we are not perfect.

            That important thought helps me handle mistakes that I make when I present and facilitate groups.  I tell myself that I am not perfect.  That I will learn from this.  That I recommit.  And boom ---- I bounce back and proceed to be the best Success Coach on the planet.

     At least that is what I tell my mind.

            A turning point in my life happened when I learned the flipside of "perfect."  All groups are perfect.

            Yes, you read that correctly.  I have incorporated that brand new belief into my belief system because it works for me.  Now, wait a minute.  I just said that nobody is perfect.  Yes, and I still believe that.  I also believe that all groups are perfect. 

            I success coach groups of all sizes, ages, and occupations.  They are all different.  And I mean different.  I love the challenge of working with a variety of participants who have different personalities, needs, and outcomes.  That stretches me and that is how I learn and grow. 

            More importantly, when I remember that all groups are perfect, it's OK for anything and everything to happen.  I follow the lead of my group.  If I anticipate one direction, and they go another, I go their way.  If a conflict or upset occurs, we handle it and discuss it.  If it takes 90 minutes to do a 20-minute activity, we do it.  If we spend 12 minutes on an hour activity, we do it.  If I make a mistake, I acknowledge it, they see I am human, and we connect even better.  If they make a mistake....

     That's the point.  The group never makes a mistake.  It was meant to happen because a team building day mirrors real life situations.  The learning takes place as we choose how to handle our reactions to these mistakes or unplanned events.

     I used to get scared handling situations that pop up unplanned in a team building seminar.  Truth: I almost welcome those moments now.

     I used to think that there were bad apples in every group:  you know, the ones who refuse to participate, the ones who blame others, the ones who are never happy, the ones who thrive on conflict and upsetting others.

            These folks are part of that perfect group.  In fact, they are the teachers.  How would the team learn if nobody pushed our buttons?  It is those folks who push our buttons from whom we learn the most.

     Individuals are not perfect.  Groups are.

                             Larry Lipman 

 

 

                       

The holidays are over.  You might think that putting the end-of-year frenzy behind them would mean your staff and team are revving up for the first quarter.   

But instead, they have 'the blah's:'  a mix of diminished enthusiasm and stress that seems to hit each year after the holidays.  The good news is:  'the blah's' are cyclical.  When business picks up, so will your staff's energy and productivity.  

But why wait?  Sure, all things change and this, too, will pass. But what if you could  take charge of 'the blah's'  with a few "Aha's!"  ?
In other words, use this low cycle for teambuilding and motivational activities.

Set aside time to meet with your managers and  brief them on the inevitable peaks and valleys of the coming year.  Even experienced managers sometimes forget that post-holiday stres

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