As humans, we are social beings. For most of us, one of the cruelest punishments is total isolation. We need other people to listen to our stories, to share their own, and to mirror and respond to our thoughts and feelings and behaviors. But since we really do need other people, why do so many of us, so much of the time, have the biggest conflicts and the most harrowing difficulties with those people we need the most?
Part of the problem is that we need people, yet we may believe that we should not need anyone. The dream of Marlborough Man, the independent, cool, tough guy, still exists for men and women alike. So, we get into relationships with people we need and then we make every effort to prove to them how much we don't need them. And this happens at work, at home, and in any situation where we spend time and share activities with other people.
Communication is easy. All you need to do is say what you mean and mean what you say. Right! How many of us are able to truly do that? And, when we finally do say what we intend to say, why is it that the people we say it to are not always happy to hear our words?
Whether we want to believe it or not, there definitely is an art to communicating effectively. First, of course, we need to really know what we think, feel, believe, and want to communicate to others. Right here, many of us run into problems. We may have some idea about what needs to be said, but we may not be clear about how we feel and we may have no idea how the other person or persons might respond. So, first, we have to gain clarity about our own thoughts, ideas, needs, desires, beliefs and intentions.
Next, it is important for us to know who we are communicating with. How does this person tend to receive and interpret information? Do they often&n
Recession anxiety is at the top of the news every day. It's inevitable that your team and staff will be affected.
Symptoms of recession anxiety include: chronic worry about job security and financial issues. Is your business going to survive? Will you have to lay people off? Arguments, gossip, stress-related ailments, and loss of productivity due to managers and employees taking sick days can reduce your company's effectiveness at the time you need it most.
Here are some guidelines for proactive management:
. Keep information flowing. Employees who sense that management is holding out on them by witholding information tend to lose motivation. Even if the future of your business is uncertain, keep your team informed and make sure the flow of information reaches everyone in the company.
Does your head begin to hurt after a long day? Does your neck get stiff and achy when deadlines near?If it does, then you have plenty of company. In fact, according to the Mayo Clinic, tension headaches are the most common headache and symptoms are quite varied. One woman says it feels like there is a tight band around her head every time her boss screams.Another reports pain in the back of the neck and skull for no clear real reason at all.
You wake up one morning and the world seems to be collapsing around you. Your tenuous time living with you parents because you are running out of money has gotten worse because you placed a bowl in the wrong place in a washing machine or forgot about a coupon to purchase a scooper for cleaning out leave troughs. The previous week a job hunting trip went bad because your car with 120,000 miles on it broke down on highway with steam coming out from underneath the hood. One day late in paying off your membership in your health club, you ask the owner if you can discount for doing some work around the gym. You are told that the gym has more than enough people working for them. Even if they did, you wouldn't be the one they would want. So it goes.
You can develop a real bad feeling about yourself if all this continues. Just because others suggest bad things doesn't mean they are true.
Life occassionally sends each of us life perservers. If these life persevers ar
Just imagine working for the imaginary Cooper Sterling Advertising Agency? A Creative Director is hiding a past life that started when he assumed the identity of a commanding officer who was killed next to him in a Korean War battlefield incident. A sex obsessed senior partner has suffered a heart attack while indulging in a tryst on company premises. Publication of an article/book by one of the copywriters is greeted by ridicule and personal put downs by fellow employees. An arrogant junior employee who undermines his boss is retained on staff because of the importance of his family's connections.
Gossip and scandal seem to run the Cooper Sterling Company. The quality of product and financial health of this company seem to be of secondary importance. Is it any wonder that an employee who feels passed over has started to search for ways to bring down his boss (and perhaps the company?)
Not too long ago, I visited one of my passions: a national chain superstore. I've visited their stores in 42 states through travel and vacation, and am always fascinated by their retail philosophy. (Obviously, I need a life.)
On this day, I was in my car, stopped at a crosswalk, waiting on a couple to cross the street. Instead, they walked along the side of the street, not cutting through the waiting traffic. My car was partially hidden behind a large armored van making it's daily delivery. I knew the couple couldn't see me waiting for them.
After a few minutes, I decided to drive through the crosswalk since it was not being used by pedestrians. Of course, who decided to cross at the same time but the couple?! My car is a V8 and it roared by them, taking both by surprise. I felt bad yet could not stop without causing a traffic incident.
As I parked and headed to the store, the woman from the crosswalk jumped out
What happens to you when you become anxious? Butterflies in your stomach? Tight muscles? Pressure in your chest? A racing heartbeart? Dry throat and sweating palms? An inability to think clearly? An inability to sleep?
If these things are familar to you, you are not alone. Millions of North Americans are taking daily medication to subdue this uneasy cascade of symptoms and feelings that we lump together in the term "anxiety."
When would it be useful to experience the symptoms of anxiety?
If you are like most of my clients, they retort, " What? Useful!? It is never useful to feel that way!"
But if it were useful, in what context would the anxiety reaction help us? The answer is, that in an immediately life threatening situation, the adrenalin making your stomach queasy will help you run faster, as will the tight muscles and racing heart. T
The holidays are over. You might think that putting the end-of-year frenzy behind them would mean your staff and team are revving up for the first quarter.
But instead, they have 'the blah's:' a mix of diminished enthusiasm and stress that seems to hit each year after the holidays. The good news is: 'the blah's' are cyclical. When business picks up, so will your staff's energy and productivity.
But why wait? Sure, all things change and this, too, will pass. But what if you could take charge of 'the blah's' with a few "Aha's!" ? In other words, use this low cycle for teambuilding and motivational activities.
Set aside time to meet with your managers and brief them on the inevitable peaks and valleys of the coming year. Even experienced managers sometimes forget that post-holiday stres
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