As humans, we are social beings.  For most of us, one of the cruelest punishments is total isolation.  We need other people to listen to our stories, to share their own, and to mirror and respond to our thoughts and feelings and behaviors.  But since we really do need other people, why do so many of us, so much of the time, have the biggest conflicts and the most harrowing  difficulties with those people we need the most?

Part of the problem is that we need people, yet we may believe that we should not need anyone.  The dream of Marlborough Man, the independent, cool, tough guy, still exists for men and women alike.  So, we get into relationships with people we need and then we make every effort to prove to them how much we don't need them.  And this happens at work, at home, and in any situation where we spend time and share activities with other people.

We are all social beings - and - we

[Read More]

All of us encounter a critical bus stop sometime in our lives.

B- Building

U- Unbelievable

S- Skills

through 

S- Surviving

T- Testing

O- Outlasting

P- Performing

In THE OTHER AMERICA, the defining year remains 1931--a year when more than one fourth of all American were ill clad, ill fed and ill housed. That's surviviving.

In THE OTHER AMERICA, there are continual layoffs, no affirmative action or equal opportunity, no health insurance and no unemployment insurance. That's testing.

In THE OTHER AMERICA. there are endless challenges to be overcome-- aptitude testing to exclude, overpriced courses and training and rigid and frequent certification requirements. That is outlasting.

In THE OTHER AMERICA, one's best is never good enough. New data skills, new regulations and rules and new circles of friends must be endlessly mastered. Now that's performing.

But the proud, the fe

[Read More]

I am the victim of a hovering parent. At times, it seems that almost nothing I do is right according to my mother. My decision-making is questioned in regards to my parenting skills, my relationships and even how I keep my home. She means well but she can be a bit overbearing at times. I used to get rather frustrated and resentful of her constant nitpicking but through continual personal development, I have learned how to deal with her. Our relationship has drastically improved since I have changed the way I respond to her. Since I know I am not alone, I thought I would share how I manage her helicopter parenting.

The first thing I did was to realize that she has good intentions. From the time we are conceived our parents begin to map out our lives. They dream about what we will look like, how we will act, what we will be when we grow up, who we will marry, where we will live and how many children we will have. Everything they do from that point out is geared toward molding us

[Read More]

Not too long ago, I visited one of my passions:  a national chain superstore. I've visited their stores in 42 states through travel and vacation, and am always fascinated by their retail philosophy.  (Obviously, I need a life.)

On this day, I was in my car, stopped at a crosswalk, waiting on a couple to cross the street.  Instead, they walked along the side of the street, not cutting through the waiting traffic.  My car was partially hidden behind a large armored van making it's daily delivery.  I knew the couple couldn't see me waiting for them.

After a few minutes, I decided to drive through the crosswalk since it was not being used by pedestrians.  Of course, who decided to cross at the same time but the couple?!  My car is a V8 and it roared by them, taking both by surprise.  I felt bad yet could not stop without causing a traffic incident.

As I parked and headed to the store, the woman from the crosswalk jumped out

[Read More]

Is time running out for you?  Inbox full?  Flagged messages exceeding the limit?  Let's talk time, and how to manage yours efficiently - leaving adequate time for balance in our life.  I recently spoke to a group of entrepreneurial multi-tasking women business leaders, and the common theme was time and how to increase the number of hours in the day to make things work.  It is a challenge that we all face - and when confronted, can change our lives.

It's been a crazy day and you have a 10 minute window to miss the rush hour crush...you're tempted to run out the door without planning for tomorrow's agenda.  What difference could 10 minutes make?  Actually, more than you might think.  Time management experts use the 1:3 ratio: for every minute you spend planning, you save three in actual application or task.  So spending 10 minutes at the end of the day saves 30 minutes in the morning.  You can start your day focused and ready to produce, versus floundering and trying to remember where you left off.

Organizing your to-do list is just the first step of a productive day.  The second, and possibly most important, is to identify your most critical tasks.  Critical tasks are usually activities specified in your job description; tasks delegated by your immediate supervisor; and/or have the greatest impact on company profit or revenue line.  NY Times best-selling author Julie Morgenste

[Read More]

At last writing I mentioned my program called "R.I.S.K. To The Power Of Two!"  The eight categories being: 

Riches......................Resources

Image.......................Integrity

Safety......................Security

Kindred.....................Kingdom

These pairs of similar qualities represent the priorities in out lives.  They are fairly self explanatory but what may not be quite so obvious is that they are compliments or contrasts if you will.

 

Riches represent more value than worth.  That is a $10,000 bill or gold or diamonds have a value but have limited worth outside of themselves.

 

Resources on the other hand, have value potential beyond their inherent worth.  Take a word processor for example.  For less than $100 you could write the next All-American novel. 

 

Image is what is evident when everyone is watching.

 

Integrity is when no one else is watching.

 

Safety is situation dependent and moment to moment.

 

Security is independent of situation and time.

 

Kindred involves our "horizontal" relationships, those of family and friends, to people we have never met on the other side of the planet, or universe.

 

Kingdom refers to our "verticle" relationship with God.

 

Now I could go into much more detail about these categories and how to benefit by increasing your awareness of them but let's just use these brief descriptions for now.

 

Here is the $10,000,000.00 question... If you were to list these eight categories in priority of most important to you what would they be? 

 

And here's the $100,000,000 question... if you asked your significant other, a friend, a coworker, to describe your priorities would their list match yours?

 

Most people never give this any thought, but until you do you're like a someone lost in a smoke filled burning building; wandering around banging into walls but not knowing how to use those walls to get you to where you want to go.

 

Take a moment right now and make your list.  Ask three others to describe you and offer to do the same for them.  It could be the most revealing activity you do in your life!

_____________________________________________________

Terry Canfield is

The Medic Of The Masses!

Having cared for more than 10,000 in more than 25 years of Emergency Services Terry knows how to assess and treat what is ailing you and your organization's health.  Many have called upon him to save their lives... give him a chance to change yours!

Hi,

As a professional "Risk Taker" I will be focusing my blog entries on that topic.  Think about it, everything we do involves risk... and unfortunately we receive very little schooling on the nature of the subject!

That's why I have been developing "R.I.S.K. To The Power Of Two!"

This is a framework of looking at the eight most common areas where we take risks in our lives.  The eight categories are as follows:

Riches......................Resources

Image.......................Integrity

Safety......................Security

Kindred.....................Kingdom

In my following posts I'll share with you my thoughts, insights, feelings, and opinions regarding this extremely important part of our lives.

Until then, risk wisely!

Terry

 Knowing when and how to say "no" is a constant battle for many people. This becomes especially difficult for business professionals who are looking to please and impress higher-ups. Almost from birth, the world has conditioned us to do what others ask without question for any number of reasons. We, too often, get pushed and pulled in all sorts of awkward directions that had not been on our intended agenda due to the inability to confidently speak that singular two-letter word.

Why do we allow ourselves to be ruled by people or things that make us uncomfortable? Does going the extra mile for that prospect result in cognitive dissonance in regards to your own morals? Is the undue stress caused by bending over backward for an overbearing manager worth the possible reward? What value does inviting such negativity into our lives really afford us?

Just say "NO".

Saying "no" is a very reasonable response to any request no matter how big or small. If you can't do what is being asked or even just don't want to, it is truly okay to say "no".  No further explanation is required. The fact that you don't want to is more than enough reason. If you are a person that has trouble saying "no" outright then respond by saying "I'll consider it and get back to you". This is alright too. It is much better to give no commitment at all than to commit to something you didn't want to do in the first place.  Mastering the art of delegation is another way to lessen the burden of being so agreeable.  Don't be afraid to request help from others of similar competence.  By delegating tasks that you are either unwilling or unable to perform, you can focus your attention on matters that are more pressing or important to you.

There is so much additional stress that develops when a person attempts to perform a task unwillingly. Think about times when you have worked at something you truly enjoyed. How easy was it for you to complete the task successfully? Now think about a time when you have agreed to a task that was not really your cup of tea but you just couldn't say "no". Did you give the task your complete 100%? Was the task completed and completed on schedule? How did you feel during the process?

Saying "no" firmly and asserting your position can give you power beyond your wildest dreams. Speaking "no" is to overcome your fear of rejection. It is to embrace independence. It is to get in touch with your true values. What do you stand for? How do you want to live your day? Saying "no" gives you back the control over how and with whom your time and energy is spent. So where does one begin? By just choosing the positive power of saying "NO".

---------------------------------------------------------------------

© 2006 by Niquenya D. Fulbright-All Rights Reserved.

About the Author:

Niquenya D. Fulbright is a Chicago area executive life coach, professional speaker and corporate trainer with over 10 years experience specializing in motivating small business owners, entrepreneurs, executives, and individuals in a career or life transition to use their innate abilities to master their goals and achieve successes beyond their wildest dreams. Contact MVP Seminars to secure Niquenya for your next big event or training session.