As humans, we are social beings. For most of us, one of the cruelest punishments is total isolation. We need other people to listen to our stories, to share their own, and to mirror and respond to our thoughts and feelings and behaviors. But since we really do need other people, why do so many of us, so much of the time, have the biggest conflicts and the most harrowing difficulties with those people we need the most?
Part of the problem is that we need people, yet we may believe that we should not need anyone. The dream of Marlborough Man, the independent, cool, tough guy, still exists for men and women alike. So, we get into relationships with people we need and then we make every effort to prove to them how much we don't need them. And this happens at work, at home, and in any situation where we spend time and share activities with other people.
We are all social beings - and - we
