As humans, we are social beings. For most of us, one of the cruelest punishments is total isolation. We need other people to listen to our stories, to share their own, and to mirror and respond to our thoughts and feelings and behaviors. But since we really do need other people, why do so many of us, so much of the time, have the biggest conflicts and the most harrowing difficulties with those people we need the most?
Part of the problem is that we need people, yet we may believe that we should not need anyone. The dream of Marlborough Man, the independent, cool, tough guy, still exists for men and women alike. So, we get into relationships with people we need and then we make every effort to prove to them how much we don't need them. And this happens at work, at home, and in any situation where we spend time and share activities with other people.
All of us encounter a critical bus stop sometime in our lives.
B- Building
U- Unbelievable
S- Skills
through
S- Surviving
T- Testing
O- Outlasting
P- Performing
In THE OTHER AMERICA, the defining year remains 1931--a year when more than one fourth of all American were ill clad, ill fed and ill housed. That's surviviving.
In THE OTHER AMERICA, there are continual layoffs, no affirmative action or equal opportunity, no health insurance and no unemployment insurance. That's testing.
In THE OTHER AMERICA. there are endless challenges to be overcome-- aptitude testing to exclude, overpriced courses and training and rigid and frequent certification requirements. That is outlasting.
In THE OTHER AMERICA, one's best is never good enough. New data skills, new regulations and rules and new circles of friends must be endlessly mastered. Now that's performing.
You wake up one morning and the world seems to be collapsing around you. Your tenuous time living with you parents because you are running out of money has gotten worse because you placed a bowl in the wrong place in a washing machine or forgot about a coupon to purchase a scooper for cleaning out leave troughs. The previous week a job hunting trip went bad because your car with 120,000 miles on it broke down on highway with steam coming out from underneath the hood. One day late in paying off your membership in your health club, you ask the owner if you can discount for doing some work around the gym. You are told that the gym has more than enough people working for them. Even if they did, you wouldn't be the one they would want. So it goes.
You can develop a real bad feeling about yourself if all this continues. Just because others suggest bad things doesn't mean they are true.
Life occassionally sends each of us life perservers. If these life persevers ar
A friend gave me a copy of a DVD called Breaking the Shell of Autism. It is the story of a family with a 3 year old son. The dad, a male nurse, relates his story and shares that when his son was born, he could just see them playing ball together...and doing all of the things that dads do with their sons. When Cade was one, his dad knew that the dreams he pictured for his son would not be realized. He sought everything and anything to change that outcome...and he has succeeded. By creating an environment of healing, Cade now reads, speaks, and plays like the other kids. Being 'one of the kids' is important to creating self-esteem and growth! I am proud to be a part of this process, and I'll continue on this mission so that other kids and their families can thrive and survive.
Losing someone we love can be one of the most challenging stressors we face as human beings.
Science shows us that "two hearts that beat as one" is more than a poetic concept. It's literal. When we fall in love, our heartbeats literally get in synch, internally and with one another, and beat as "one heart."When we lose a loved one, either through death or separation, having that "other" heart we entrained with go away can give us a lost feeling. We may think that it is the absence of the other person that creates this uncomfortable sensation we call a "broken heart." But in fact, it is our own grief reaction which causes our heart rhythms to take on a chaotic pattern, throwing everything else out of whack with them. The good news is that we can access the power, beauty, and joy that we feel when we are in synch with the objectof our love, even
"At the time I was arrested I had no idea it would turn into this. It was just a day like any other day. The only thing that made it significant was that the masses of the people joined in." Rosa Parks
by Dwight Edwards
She was just trying to get home from a long day at work. There was nothing premeditated or pre-planned. As she later stated, ""I did not get on the bus to get arrested. I got on the bus to go home." Yet on Dec.1, 1955 aboard the Cleveland Avenue bus in Montgomery, Alabama our world was changed. An extraordinary response on a very ordinary day helped spark long awaited and overdue changes in racial segregation. The response? Refusing to give up her seat to a white man. A simple act of quiet fortitude on an ordinary city bus in an ordinary American city on an ordinary winter day. Who would ever have dreamed that her humble but courageous response would trigger the avalanche that it did? As Rosa herself remaked, "At the time I was arrested I had no idea it would turn into this. It was just a day like any other day. The only thing that made it significant was that the masses of the people joined in."
I'm particularly drawn to Rosa's statement, "It was just a day like any other day..." We never know when our greatest opportunities for extraordinary living will come knocking. The moments that most profoundly mark our lives are rarely expected. They sneak up behind us, come upon us in an instant, and require an immediate response one way or the other. And most often, they come to us on "a day just like any other day." For this reason one of my firm convictions is that there really is no such thing as an ordinary day. Every day is pregnant with opportunities for extraordinary living. Small, quiet acts of care towards the less fortunate. Humble, gracious responses to mistreatment. Courageous, spontaneous movement into a difficult situation. And one never knows when quiet, routine, extraordinary living may shake the world. Helen Keller put it well, "I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble."
An ordinary bus, an ordinary city, an ordinary day, an ordinary person. But one extraordinary response and society would never be the same. Therefore, as we go through the day let us strive not merely to be great accomplishers but also great responders. One never knows where an extraordinary response on an ordinary day will lead.
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