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Tips for Self Care in Communication

1. Recognize when you are in reaction, then

2. Know that you are in reaction, then

3. Take responsibility for your reaction, then

4. Pause, then

5. Pause, then

6. Pause some more, then

7. Ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment?”

8. Slow everything down

9. When you hear yourself criticizing or complaining about someone (including you), ask yourself, “What do I really want in this moment?”

10. Practice receiving

11. Practice gratitude

12. Trust your body—it’s designed to help you release stress (laughter, tears, shaking, blinking, sleep, exercise)

13. Breathe fully

14. Share eye contact with someone

15. Look out the window or step outside

16. Maintain a nurturing spiritual practice

17. Celebrate

18. Keep your dre

Unhappy Work Atmosphere?

If it wasn't called work.....

When I first started working when I was sixteen, I had already learned the value of good hard work. Growing up, my father had insisted on us working every spare moment of every day. Well that's what it seemed like! I had to tell my friends on most occasions that I could not go to the party or have a stay over because I had to help my dad build something or clean something. I hated it.

But after I had started working a real job for real money, there was a comment made to me from a manager of the Albertsons store that I was working at while I was staying overtime to mop up the floor. I will remember his words the rest of my life. As he watched me work with enthusiasm and vigor, he said with sincerity, "Eli, if you ever need a job at anytime in your life, you've got one."

Wow! Someone noticed my hard work ethic. That made me feel good.

Since that day I have always tried to compliment those

Do You Really Need More Accountability?

When managers want to accomplish goals through their employees, they usually think in terms of accountability. It’s common to hear questions like “Who’s accountable for that project?” “Whose idea was that?” and “Whose fault is it?”

How do the answers to these questions accomplish goals? I don’t think they do. In my experience, questions that focus on accountability lead to discussions about blame, which often divide work groups into gossip camps and passive aggressive reactions. That wastes a lot of time.

A different approach is to focus on self-responsibility. Instead of the above questions, an employee with self-responsibility might say, “How can I help?” “I like / don’t like that idea because ______ and here’s what I suggest _____.” “How did our process (not a person) cause that problem?&r

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July 7, 2008 Posted by Annie Barron, PhD | self-empowered, self-discovery, professional development, personal growth, motivation, meaning, leadership, effective management, control, communication, business success | Comment (0)

How to Stop Giving Your Power Away

In my last post, I described how life reflects back to us what we believe about our worthiness and “enoughness” and I said that watching for patterns is a great way to recognize these reflections. I recently identified a pattern in my own life and connected it to a painful belief that held me hostage for most of my 38 years ~ not any more!

About a month ago, I moved into an idyllic 1930s cottage right along the river and Missoula’s beautiful river’s edge bike path. I was so happy to be in a house again, especially one with so much charm. What could be wrong with that? Plenty!

The floors creak more than you might imagine, and there is a renter in the basement. During my first few weeks in the house, I felt terrible about walking around in the morning, knowing that my neighbor might be woken up by my movements. While I was doing everything I could think of not to disturb her, she slammed her door every time she went in or out and she blasted

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July 2, 2008 Posted by Annie Barron, PhD | success, self-empowered, self-discovery, relationships, personal growth, personal development, life coaching, happiness, energy, communication, business coaching | Comment (0)

On A Good Day, Motivation Lasts About 5 Minutes

Motivation doesn't last. We wish it would, and I especially, since I'm what is termed a 'Motivational Speaker'. It's a misnomer. The truth is: no one can motivate you, and even if they could, it wouldn't last.

Though we feel good when we go to a seminar or workshop or experience a speaker who does a good 'pump up', the other side of the coin is learning what to do when the 'pump up' wears off. Just as important, it pays to understand the nature of motivation in the first place, which would leave little room for disappointment when the 'pump up' wears off and you're back to the daily grind of doing what must be done.

To me, motivation is like lighter fluid, whereas inspiration is like charcoal. When you get out the grill, you fill it with charcoal. You then pour lighter fluid over the charcoal. When you set the lighter fluid on fire, you get a big 'poof' of a flame, depending on how much lighter fluid you poured

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June 30, 2008 Posted by Valerie Love | success, self-help, productivity, personal growth, motivation, inspiration, enhancing productivity, empowering women, coaching, career coaching, business success | Comment (0)

Hold that judgment!

It was interesting last night when we arrived at the party. Everyone was engaged with someone else and no one greeted us. I felt awkward and went into my judgments about the hostess.

So Annie and I grabbed a chair and talked to each other. We could have stayed home I thought to myself. This went on for about ten or fifteen minutes and finally someone broke off their conversation and the subject of mountain biking came up…I felt like a made a connection and then it was time for the food. We all got up and stood around the table lighting candles and blessing the food. That felt good and we ate. I hadn’t done that for a while.

In the chair next to me, Art, who I had played music with six months before at this same house sat down. After a while our conversation extended to playing music.

As we were winding down our playing music, Janis one of the people of the party came over and began talking to us about perhaps having us play at a party she w

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November 30, 2007 Posted by Mark Susnow | relationships, personal growth, life dreams, leadership, communication | Comment (0)