Science shows us that "two hearts that beat as one" is more than a poetic concept. It's literal. When we fall in love, our heartbeats literally get in synch, internally and with one another, and beat as "one heart."When we lose a loved one, either through death or separation, having that "other" heart we entrained with go away can give us a lost feeling. We may think that it is the absence of the other person that creates this uncomfortable sensation we call a "broken heart." But in fact, it is our own grief reaction which causes our heart rhythms to take on a chaotic pattern, throwing everything else out of whack with them.
The good news is that we can access the power, beauty, and joy that we feel when we are in synch with the objectof our love, evenwhen the object is no longer there. It is the loving state itself that makes us feel good, not the person or opportunity or job that we were in love with. That loving feel good state is accessible to us anywhere anytime, through the power of ordered heart rhythms that HeartMath tools teach us to access at will.
Here is a recipe for "Good Grief." One way to mend the borkenheartedness of a love lost is to take a moment and write down the characteristics and qualities that you loved about that person or experience, and the wonderful charateristics and qualities in yourself that were brought out of you in your dynamic with them.
Take that list of things that you appreciate, and committ to embodying them yourself, now, even if that other person is gone. This will keep their essence alive in your life, and alive in you. It will also, quite literally, heal your heart. Embodying those heartfelt qualities has been proven to create ordered rhythms in the heart which then enhance brain function, immunity, nervous system and hormonal balance, performance, and overall well being.
Many long time spouses die within days or weeks of the death of their loved one, because they have become so dependant upon that "other" for their sense of balance and well being. This does not need to happen to you. You can access all the love that the other brought into your life, right here right now with the power of your own heart.
Impermanence itself, in our relationships and in every area of life, can be a teacher for us, guiding us not to take each other or any moment for granted, and guiding us to deep levels of appreciation of what's here now.
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