I AIN’T NEVER HEARD NO ONE TALK LIKE THAT – OR WHY GRAMMAR MATTERS

For four years, I taught writing and language at Minnesota School of Business, which has a diverse student body, ranging in age from 19 to 50, of all backgrounds, both personal and professional.

One of my favorite teaching moments came when I was explaining a fine point of grammar. A woman in her thirties, studying business administration of all things, piped up: “Who talks like that? I ain’t never heard no one talk like that.”

I turned toward the white board to hide my laughter, while trying to figure out a gentle way to inform her of her error.

WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?

Think about it for a minute. How would your boss,colleagues, or clients perceive you if you started a sentence with “I ain’t never”? The first words out of your mouth create an impression that is difficult, if not impossible, to change, according to a recent Harvard study. Think about the last time someone tried to pick you up with a pathetically bad line. Did you then give him or her a second chance? Probably not.

LANGUAGE IS POWER.

How you communicate with those around you often reveals much about who you are: gender, race, and region where you live, among others. Many powerful people have used language to inspire, convince, enrage, or encourage, Think about Winston Churchill, Franklin Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, or Martin Luther King. They were able to use the power of language to unite nations in times of strife.

A COMMON MISPERCEPTION is that you might sound pretentious when using correct grammar. (No one was impressed by a former coworker of mine who never called someone; he “communicated telephonically.”) By using correct grammar in casual conversations and written communication,  you come across as smart and knowledgeable.

Realize that there are LEVELS OF LANGUAGE. You speak and write differently to your friends, your mother, your boss, and potential clients. You can get away with texting “IDK” to your best friend, but not to someone you’ve never met. (And don’t get me started on how texting abbreviations are bombarding the English language with stink bombs!)

USE YOUR EARS.

We learned language as children mostly by mimicking the people around us. If something doesn’t sound right, ask why. Is it a cultural or geographic wording? That may be fine when you’re talking or writing to friends and family in the same milieu, but remember that we’re dealing with standard English, not the dozens of dialects that exist in the U.S. alone.

DO NOT RELY ON GRAMMAR CHECK.

In fact, turn it off. In my experience, grammar check is worse than worthless. It look at patterns of words but does not comprehend context. Its suggested “corrections” are often wrong. Use your own knowledge and brain power to decide what it is right.

WHY IS ENGLISH SO DIFFICULT?

The English language has one of the largest vocabularies of the 200+ languages on Earth.  The reason is that English is an amalgam of Romantic languages (Latin, French, Spanish, Italian) and Germanic (German, Dutch, Scandinavian) languages. Words, meaning, grammar in English are a hodgepodge of rules and meanings from very diverse language bases, which, in simple terms, mean that there’s an exception to every rule.

I have taught many English as a Second Language (ESL) students – including students from Kazahkstan,  Mongolia, and Kenya. I never envy someone who’s trying to learn the complexity of the English language.

Look for an extended discussion on this subject on the next blog.

ASK THE LANGUAGE LADY.

If you have questions about grammar, punctuation, syntax, or language in general, send your queries to:

The Language Lady
bevroath@aol.com

I’ll print the questions and responses in a future blog.

NOW, TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE:

GRAMMAR QUIZ

1)    Which sentence is correct?

a)     The childrens toys were scattered about the room.

b)    The chidrens’ toy’s were scattered about the room.

c)     The children’s toys were scattered about the room.

2)    Which sentence is correct?

a)     This issue is between he and I.

b)    This issue is between him and I

c)     This issue is between him and me.

d)    This issue is between us.

3)    Which sentence is correct?

a)     I wish I was there.

b)    I wish I were there.

4)    Which sentence is correct?

a)     Bill and Bob went to the MegaMall, Bill bought new shoes.

b)    Bill and Bob went to the MegaMall, and Bill bought new shoes.

c)     Bill and Bob went to the MegaMall; Bill bought new shoes.

d)    Bill and Bob went to the MegaMall. Bill bought new shoes.

5)    Which sentence is correct?

a)     There waiting to throw they’re ball over their.

b)    Their waiting to throw there ball over they’re.

c)     They’re waiting to throw their ball over there.

GRAMMAR QUIZ ANSWERS

1)    Which sentence is correct?

c)     The children’s toys were scattered about the room.

The apostrophe is used in two ways: 1) to create a contraction (“don’t” instead of “do not”) or 2) to indicate possession. With very few exceptions (when, for example,  pluralizing a letter makes a word; i.e., “I got straight A’s” rather than “I got straight As”) AN APOSTROPHE IS NEVER USED TO MAKE A PLURAL. I used to drive by a sign that said, “Go Viking’s!” My immediate reaction was “’Go Viking’s’ what?” “Go Viking’s Mercedes?” Helmets? Gluteal muscles?

In this example, the children possess the toys, so “children’s” gets the apostrophe.

2)    Which sentence is correct?

c)     This issue is between him and me.

d)    This issue is between us.

I’ll save the lecture about prepositions and objective pronouns for another blog, but for now, just trust me: (c) and (d) are correct.

3)    Which sentence is correct?

c)     I wish I were there.

There is a verb case known as the “subjunctive.” Use it when something is not necessarily true. In this example, your want to be there, but you’re not.  So, “I wish I were there” (subjunctive; not necessarily true) is correct.

As an example of how language changes, the subjunctive is slowly dying out, even though it remains important in other languages (e.g., French). I predict that in 50 years, the subjunctive will be a thing of the past. In the meantime, however, use it correctly.

4)    Which sentence is correct?

b)    Bill and Bob went to the MegaMall, and Bill bought new shoes.

c)     Bill and Bob went to the MegaMall; Bill bought new shoes.

d)    Bill and Bob went to the MegaMall. Bill bought new shoes.

The first sentence (“Bill and Bob went to the MegaMall, Bill bought new shoes.”) is known as a comma splice. A comma splice separates two complete sentences with a comma, which is incorrect.

Complete sentences have a subject and verb. In the example, “Bill and Bob” are the subjects and “went” is the verb. “Bill” is also a subject and “bought” is the verb. So there are two complete sentences that must be separated in one of three ways:

• Insert a conjunction (“and”), as shown in answer (b).
• Use a semicolon (;), as shown in answer (c),
• Separate the sentences with a period (.), as shown in answer (d).

5)    Which sentence is correct?

c)     They’re waiting to throw their ball over there.

The homonyms (words that sound alike but have different meaning) “they’re,” “their,” and “there” cause much confusion. Hopefully this brief explanation will help.

• “They’re” is a contraction of “they are.” If you can substitute “they are” in the sentence, use “they’re.”
• “Their” is the possessive form of “they.” If “they” own something, use “their.”
• “There” indicates a place.

ASK THE LANGUAGE LADY.

If you have questions about grammar, punctuation, syntax, or language in general, send your queries to:

The Language Lady
bevroath@aol.com

I’ll print the questions and responses in a future blog.