I read advice columns. I sometimes find valuable information that benefits me or I can pass along to others. At times I shake my head in awe at the nonsensical issues people seek advice about, like the biggest debate ever in Dear Abby’s history: which is the correct way to hang a roll of toilet paper – paper across the top or underneath? Really? This is what people are concerned with?

Other times, the stories are tragic and my heart aches for those struggling. Then I read stuff that baffles my mind: people complaining over the most inane issues and fabricating problems where none needed to exist. Consider the following: a “military mom”, whose sons and husband served in the Marines, is livid her daughter is seriously dating a physician with no military background. She complains to that although he is nice and respectful to all and her daughter is very happy with him, they refuse to accept him into the family based solely on that one condition.

“Why should this young man get to go to school until his late 20s, get a job right away, and live a totally comfortable and entitled life while other young men leave their families and never come home?”  The hair on the back of my neck stood up. (Let me mention here: one of her sons made the ultimate sacrifice for his country.) She accuses the boyfriend of “throwing our family’s sacrifice in our face by living in the lap of luxury” and cannot imagine having him as her son-in-law.

Clearly this mom has not healed from the tragic loss of her child and seeing the boyfriend may be triggering her pain. However, she exacerbates matters by making outrageous assumptions and accusations against him: he “lives a totally comfortable and entitled life” while “living in the lap of luxury”. These statements are arrogant and judgmental.  Anyone less than a member of the military is considered unsuitable as a future family member. Her closed mind and heart prohibit her from recognizing his attributes and valuable contributions he’s making to society. Her expectations that he conform to her ideal isms are disrespectful and hateful and are responsible for her anger and bitterness.

While many fail to see themselves as bigots, their behavior suggests otherwise. Prejudice comes in all sizes and shapes much less recognizable than the more obvious ones such as skin color, sexual orientation and nationality. Any form of bigotry creates a breakdown in families and society, leading to anger, resentment, hatred and bitterness. It robs us of fully appreciating the uniqueness and beauty of those in our company. Until we recognized and addressed each, prejudice lives like an assassin among us, killing any opportunity for acceptance, appreciation and unity and putting each of us at risk. Where are the hidden assassins in your heart? Ferret them out so all may be embraced in your life.

In the workplace, job security is getting to be a bankrupt concept. And, if you manage to keep your job, most likely you’ve taken on the work of those who have lost theirs. More stress and fewer fulfillment.

Naomi, a client of mine in San Francisco used to love going to work every morning. Now, with a new CEO pressuring the very small staff to produce way beyond their capability, the strain is such that she experiences overwhelm, frustration and, what we normally call depression. “What’s the point?” Naomi asks, rhetorically.  “I used to love my work, but now I’m thinking of leaving. It’s all too much?”

As a sailor who crossed the Atlantic Ocean, I could see the changes on the surface of the water that tells us whether we’ll be experiencing turbulence or calm seas. We could see miles off in the distance any sea change that was coming our way. We could prepare appropriately and settle in for any turbulence.

Though I fly frequently, I am disconcerted by any turbulence we experience in the air because it is invisible, generally speaking. I look out the window intending on discovering that which is the catalyst for my discomfort. As an analogy, I find that these instabilities we are currently experiencing is much the same; where or what is the instigator of all of this turbulence in all of our institutions, our solar system, in the Universe at large? I find it fascinating!

The invisible catalyst is a known entity to those who know. For most of us though we feel victimized by the unseen forces that have wreaked havoc to our lifestyles, our sense of security and stability. We are losing our ground of being that we thought was us! Every aspect of life is getting a good shake up. The question I pose is what is our role in this shake up? How do we be with the devastation of our life paths that lay in ruin? Is there a way to create stability in an unstable environment?

Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide!

In any work environment, each of us brings with us, on a daily basis, a sense of un-assuredness. And, with that comes stress, worry and perhaps a less then calm and serene demeanor. We feel helpless and powerless in the face of these turbulent times. Like Naomi, the heads of institutions are bringing in the sails, battening down the hatches, throwing access baggage overboard. We are always wondering if today is the day that we walk the plank.

So what’s the solution? Well, since, on a spiritual level, there is no problem, then there’s no solutions required. What is required is remembering who you are in the first place. Who were you before you were a business person, a member of a cultural or religious tradition; before you were a man or a woman? It takes a lot of sifting through the myriad identities that we’ve overlaid upon our essential nature, however, by remembering who you really are, you come to find the calm sea within, realizing that, like Shakespeare says we are merely players on this stage we call THIS LIFE. We can leave the behind our roles, identities and characters. In doing so we come back to the “me” underneath it all.

I googled spirituality in business, again, and found more articles and blogs that share the degree to which business people are engaging in spiritual conversations in the workplace.  I’m not making this stuff up, attempting to convince you of the paradigm shift within which we are immersed. I am encouraging you to see how disempowered you can believe yourself to be in this moment, or, you can cultivate awareness and awaken to how empowered you are to empower yourself and others.

Our business institutions are the spiritual centers now. It is where we practice the essential truths of our religious and spiritual traditions. Its where we practice acceptance of what we cannot change, courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference; its where we practice compassion, for there but for the grace of God go thee; it’s were we deliver ourselves from evil for the sake of well-being of every being on the planet as well as the planet herself; its, as Mahatma Gandhi said – being the change we wish to see.

Turbulence? You bet. It gives us the opportunity to discover clarity of knowing there is nothing to fear but fear itself (I’m so grateful for all of those who’ve created these incredibly wise statements.). Discovering, recognizing and acknowledging this Truth is essential to the journey. With this in mind, enjoy the adventure!

“The enormity of such figures is difficult to grasp, indicating that millions of women are subjected to experiences ranging from insult to assault – many on an ongoing or recurring basis – as the price of earning a living.”

It is note worthy that most if not all of the research into this phenomenon has been conducted by psychologists, “who have generated increasingly sophisticated studies of topics such as the structure, definition, and measurement of harassment (Fitzgerald, 1990; Fitzgerald et al. 1988; Fitzgerald and Itesson – McInnis, 1989);…;gender difference in perceptions of sexually harassment behavior (Adams, Kottke O Padgitt…)”

Randy Hodson, a professor of Sociology at Ohio State University has co-authored a study entitled:

“Women Experience more Sexual Harassment in Work Groups with Male, Female Balance”

Hodson notes that despite common assumptions new research suggests that women are not more likely to be sexually harassed when they are the minority or majority in a work group.  Instead researchers found that in most cases, women were sexually harassed at work when their work group had a similar proportion of males and females.”

A study looking at 110 work groups from around the world found that women who work in relatively equally matched gender groups were more likely to be harassed than women who worked in predominantly male or female groups.  Women in these situations were more likely to experience taunting, patronizing, and predatory behaviors.”

It is highly important that employers stay current on the latest research findings in order to understand group dynamics and how to protect their companies from potential sexual harassment law suits.

For topic specific information contact MVP at (51) 558-3495

More next week…

While discussing “The Law of Cause-and-Effect” in my last post, I commented that we should listen to our “Inner Voice.” Since then I’ve been asked a number of questions about this “Inner Voice” and whether or not it really exists. Let me share a few thoughts and an experience with you.

Although there’s quite a bit of scientific debate on this subject, all I can say is that this voice exists for me. Let me tell you why. One day during the midst of several days of continuous around the clock air operations aboard the USS Midway, I was assigned a mission scheduled for a midnight launch and a 2 AM recovery.

As was my custom, I obtained a weather forecast of expected conditions during the launch, along the mission route and in the recovery area. This forecast was for marginal conditions (with rain showers and low visibility) during launch and recovery.

Two hours prior to launch the pilot and I briefed the planned mission. This particular pilot and I had flown together only once previously and had not yet developed the coordination necessary (in the cockpit between crew members) to land a high performance, twin-engine, two-seat tactical jet aircraft aboard a moving target in marginal weather where the deck moves vertically from 0 to 16’.

After the brief I went to the maintenance shack to review any open maintenance gripes on the assigned aircraft. This particular aircraft had some open air conditioning and radio issues that could not be duplicated with the aircraft on the ground. These gripes meant that there was an increased possibility we could lose radio communications at any time during the flight.

Now let’s take a closer look at this picture. I was about to fly in a marginal aircraft, in marginal weather with a person whom I had not developed any “carrier” confidence.  On the other hand, up to that point, or any time since then had I ever turned down or refused a flight or mission for any reason. But now, for the 1st time in my life, I heard a voice telling me to “down” this aircraft.

My sense of pride told me to complete the mission but this inner voice kept telling me not to go. I finally listened to my inner voice and downed the aircraft for mechanical reasons. However, that’s not the end of the story. During the 2 AM recovery in the midst of the forecasted marginal weather, one of the landing aircraft had a ramp strike. In this case the aircraft struck the back end of the carrier (the round-down) and burst into flames. Luckily the crew (whose ready room we shared) was rescued.

This was the first time I ever recognized my inner voice. I’ve learned that its function is to guide us safely towards our goals and ultimate life’s purpose. “It” truly knows what’s best for us. However because of free will, we choose whether or not to listen to or obey it. This voice can only be heard in the present moment and can’t be heard while our mind is focused in the past or future. It must also be discerned from other voices competing for our attention and can be easily drowned out by all the “stuff” going on in our life

In summary, let me unequivocally say that this voice exists and is available to us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Thank you and God bless.

In the name of Heaven we make incredible sacrifices. The question is – what is Heaven? More importantly in the context of this series, what is Heaven to you? How will you know when you’ve arrived?

Given that we are talking most specifically about spirituality in the business, I suspect that each one of us has maneuvered into our current roles and positions because to some degree we are wanting to create heaven on Earth, especially when it involves the fact that we spend at least one third of our lives in this environment. What have you sacrificed in order to be where you are right now, in this moment? What I’m really wanting to know is – have you sacrificed the right things in order to have what you currently have? Rarely do I use the word right, so I’m obviously on the way to making a point!

On Tuesday, I spoke to the San Francisco Professional Career Network. These individuals are in the process of once again becoming gainfully employed, however many of them are up against some very stiff resistance (the R word, remember?). Not much different than many of us, they experienced rejection, trauma, abuse, neglect and humiliation in their previous work environment, and as they move in the direction of employment, something stops them. What stops them, and appropriately so, is the memory of what they’ve previously sacrificed for what they thought would provide stability, a role that contributed to the growth and development of their company, as well as a sense of personal and professional fulfillment. They are now having to choose to choose what to choose in service to what it is they want. This time they have the opportunity to choose what to sacrifice from a more conscious perspective.

Everyone has to make the choice to sacrifice that which they are willing to sacrifice: Health, family, personal fulfillment, creativity, integrity, financial stability, trauma, stress, abuse – each of us has our price.

I’m suggesting that maybe what we’ve sacrificed isn’t worth the price. This is a huge spiritual issue for those who have come to believe that financial stability will create happiness. The current global economic circumstances are indicating that, that may be an inaccurate assumption. The wounding that has occurred – that we’ve allowed to occur for the sake of financial viability for many has cost them their lives, their families and their dignity. I don’t think this is working very well – do you?

I’m guessing that when searching your internal database you’ll un-conceal regrets and lost dreams that were sacrificed for what at that time seemed like the appropriate or only choice to be made. All of us have these regrets and losses, yet until we come face to face with them and the emotional well of powerless and hopeless that has never been mined we will continually repeat the circumstance – just different environments and we’ll never allow our essential self to guide us to our fullest expression.

It makes sense to me that many of those individuals in the San Francisco Professional Career Network are balking at returning to the corporate environment. It makes sense to me that they are no longer willing to sacrifice their souls for the almighty paycheck.

Not all work environments are dysfunctional but the fact of the matter is that too many are dysfunctional. My belief is that because most of us were raised in families where dysfunction played a huge role in how we come to see ourselves, how we value and treat our selves and how we choose to choose what we choose, we can’t help but create environments that reflect the same.

I believe that each of us has come to this planet to fulfill a very specific life purpose. My job is to support people in choosing to choose to live into that purpose – fearlessly. This conversation definitely includes the question “What get’s sacrificed?” It also allows evidence to speak for itself; “Has it worked so far to give up what is most essential to your BEING and to you living your LIFE PURPOSE?”

This line of questions emphatically points to the dilemma and what we do in this dilemma. The dilemma is a choice-point where most of us choose to choose NOT to choose, thus experiencing a quality of life that feels stuck, lost, paralyzed, trapped, confused, depressed. SIGH! I know of no one who is allowed the “get out of jail free card” and doesn’t have to actually choose when facing the inevitable choice-point: Now or later – it’s up to you!

I don’t wish this moment on anyone, however, the inevitability of it is what it is. I can’t convince or cajole you to take me seriously. I only encourage you to feel into your heart and soul and reveal, discover and acknowledge your own evidence, your own truth and your own wisdom to know what is yours to do.

Enjoy the exploration!

• HIS DRESS – I usually see him in his scrubs or similar “doctor” garb. Calculating? Yes, of course; I doubt that he has rushed to every TV appearance from the OR. However, there is also no mistaking that he is a physician, just as Bruce Springsteen must dress like a rock star (usually in black), or David Copperfield must look as mysterious as a magician should.
• HIS PHYSIQUE – Oz’s fitness is the bane of all the rest of us middle-aged guys. At 51, he looks as much as a decade younger, trim, flexible and vibrant. He represents his own advice, much as the late, great exercise advocate Jack LaLanne did, even as he lived into his 90s.
• HIS BEHAVIOR — Upon greeting a reporter from Success magazine, Oz offered him cashews from a bag he carries with him. Do you keep a bag of nuts or another healthy snack with you at all times? You do when you are trying to be the living embodiment of good health.
• HIS PERSONAL LIFESTYLE — Oz professes that to live a long, healthy life, one must personal relationships.He is frequently photographed with his beautiful family of a wife, three daughters and a son. Together, they look like they came out of central casting (a compliment), also reinforcing his message of health and happiness.

So what is the image you are projecting? If you are gifted with your hands and work a manual craft, do you present yourself to customers as someone who is ready to tackle a tough job or as someone who just stepped out of a Lands End catalog? (Look to Dirty Jobs’ Mike Rowe as a good example of credibility in this case.) If you are a financial adviser, do you look successful yourself?

A friend contacted me recently literally minutes I had updated my LinkedIn profile because I had left an unusual number of typos. “Bad image for a professional communicator, Pat,” she emailed me. Branding is a complete job, and it requires attention to a number of details. Heed them all.

www/wbjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20120511/PRINTEDITION/305119996/0/PRINTEDITIONDATES

You might be asking – as I would, if I were you, why I’m resisting writing if I’m in the business of writing .

Even though I enjoy writing, it’s challenging at times to put words and sentences together in a way that articulates what I’m wanting to say. Sometimes it comes easy and every so often it’s more challenging to get down on paper exactly what’s wanting to be said. In this moment I’m trying to make sense of the idea that resistance is an important concept to bring into this series on spirituality in business. I’m an intuitive writer and sometimes I’m not the thinker here. I’m just transcribing what’s coming through me. I know that sounds a little whacked, however I find that this way of writing is far more enjoyable, revealing and insightful. The point is that sometimes I have to deal with confusion, uncertainty, doubt, and on occasion feelings of being an inadequate loser. I resist having to confront these beliefs about myself; I’d rather go do something easy and fun, where I don’t feel vulnerable to humiliation.

I guess this is the point, isn’t it. That quite often there are aspects of our work that we resist because we don’t like being engaged in those activities that challenge us. We get bugged by people, places or things and put the brakes on, dig in our heels, avoid, distract or ignore what’s in front of us in service to resistance, which is in service to avoiding the discomfort of vulnerability.

Resistance at Work

My work in corporations brings me face to face with people resisting the very work they are paid to do. I’m stymied by the degree of resistance to do what individuals are hired to do; the lack of collaboration that they agreed to, the lack of leadership and management they were trained to do. People are resisting doing what they’ve come here to do. I find that fascinating!

For many, the rules of the game in any organization are unknown, so you have to play your best poker face, your best everything, always – if you want to get ahead, get that raise or praise. You have to resist direct confrontation or insults; you might resist sexual innuendos. You have to resist getting fired and some people resist getting promoted, but they can’t say that – it’s not politically correct.

One specific manager I’ve worked with in the Silicon Valley was threatened by anyone who showed any inkling of being smarter than he was. He had many opportunities to empower his team members in ways that would enhance their performance, however because of his belief that no one could think better than him, he resisted acknowledging and encouraging his direct reports. Many of his direct reports shared with me that they were frustrated and felt limited in their capacity to do their work. The morale of the whole team was diminished because this manager was afraid that someone might outdo him.

This isn’t uncommon – we all know that. Resistance runs rampant in every institution, enough so that we are resistant to calling this game to a halt. There is something at stake! That something is precious enough that we don’t want to give it up. That something has a big price tag on it. Actually it has two price tags on it. One is the sale price – this is the price tag is what you are selling your soul for (Gag me with a spoon!). This price tag reflects the selling of our integrity, our truth, fulfillment, for the sake of power, position, control – and as always the illusion of invulnerability.

Resistance, as a Muscle

Resistance is an interesting set of muscles that we exercise in service to developing strength, control and power. It’s also a survival mechanism we’ve developed over time, and quite often, like many of our survival mechanisms it becomes automatic and unconscious. We’ve become unaware of why we are engaging those specific muscles in the first place. But a point that I want to make here is that we have no idea how much energy it takes to resist. It’s something you might want to think about.

Resistance looks different for everyone, but what’s important is for you to discover, recognize and acknowledge your own particular style of resistance. Like I said, we are all doing it; it’s just a matter of how and to what end.

As the Paradigm Shifts…

As the paradigm shifts we awaken slowly but surely to our own unique contributions to the way life is, as opposed to the way we desire it to be. We see where we resist shifting and changing as an attempt to hold on to what we’ve got, though what we’ve got isn’t necessarily what we want.

Sometimes the practice is to resist resisting; go with the flow, ride with the tide! But first you/we have to become aware that we are resisting and what that resistance is serving.

You may have heard me suggest this practice before, however here it is again. It’s the simplest practice: Be Kind! Kindness costs nothing, takes no time and contributes greatly to peace on Earth. By practicing kindness you will come up against resistance to being kind. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for where you can begin to question the value of resisting. In this moment you are at a choice-point where you can choose to choose differently. In this moment the opportunity to self-realize is upon you, and with that comes the opportunity to be the change you wish to see.

Enjoy the adventure!

• HIS DRESS – I usually see him in his scrubs or similar “doctor” garb. Calculating? Yes, of course; I doubt that he has rushed to every TV appearance from the OR. However, there is also no mistaking that he is a physician, just as Bruce Springsteen must dress like a rock star (usually in black), or David Copperfield must look as mysterious as a magician should.
• HIS PHYSIQUE — Oz’s fitness is the bane of all the rest of us middle-aged guys. At 51, he looks as much as a decade younger, trim, flexible and vibrant. He represents his own advice, much as the late, great exercise advocate Jack LaLanne did, even as he lived into his 90s.
• HIS BEHAVIOR – Upon greeting a reporter from Success magazine, Oz offered him cashews from a bag he carries with him. Do you keep a bag of nuts or another healthy snack with you at all times? You do when you are trying to be the living embodiment of good health.
• HIS PERSONAL LIFESTYLE — Oz professes that to live a long, healthy life, one must personal relationships.He is frequently photographed with his beautiful family of a wife, three daughters and a son. Together, they look like they came out of central casting (a compliment), also reinforcing his message of health and happiness.

Leaping forward in time, however, this researcher notes that under the Civil Rights Act of 1964 unwelcome sexual behavior in the workplace became theoretically illegal, but it was not until 1980 that a legal definition of sexual harassment came into existence.

It was the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) that issued its now well-known guidelines outlining two broad classes of prohibited behavior:

“Attempt to extort sexual cooperation by means of subtle or explicit threats of job-related consequences (quid pro quo harassment) and pervasive sex-related verbal or physical conduct that is unwelcome or offensive (hostile environment) even absent tangible job consequences such as termination or loss of promotion (EEOC 1980).”

During my own research on childhood sexual abuse I found that much of this behavior toward children remained under-reported or unreported.  It would seem that the same problem exists within the area of sexual violence against women in the workplace.

In the next addition more evidence will be introduced that not only suggests that sexual violence against women in the workplace is epidemic but that it is pandemic.  This is a problem that employers must preemptively address through mandated sexual harassment training.

Next week…part III